Trade Offs: You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
For me to get stronger, I need to spend quite a bit of time training. This means less time at the beach, less time reading in the sun, less time with my friends and family and so on. I rarely socialise mid week and I enforce upon myself that I must complete my training before engaging in most social occasions. I have very consciously decided that they are trade offs I am willing to make.
Similarly, to build the muscle required to make strength gains and to control my weight so that I stay in reach of my weight class (even as a recreational lifter), I need to have some discipline around my diet. This means that I drink very little, I prepare most of my own meals and I make smart choices when I’m eating out most of the time. Again, I am happy to make these trade offs because I deem my goals to be more meaningful than these things most of the time.
This is to say that there are things that I am willing to sacrifice or forgo in the pursuit of my performance and body composition goals.
That said though, there are certainly things that I am not willing to forgo.
Many moons ago I competed in bikini competitions. I had little to no social life, I didn’t eat out, I was always tired, always hungry, felt like shit, had a crippled self-perception and was very unpleasant to be around. When asked if I’d ever do it again? Absolutely not. I am not willing to forgo quality sleep, quality training, sharing meals with my boyfriend, Uber Eats, brunch, my energy levels, the time and quality of my work, my strength or my positive self image.
Because I am unwilling to forgo those things, I will never again have a six pack. Not because I can’t, but because I know what it takes to achieve and I have very consciously decided that I am not willing to do what it takes.
In perhaps more relatable examples, I love to travel and I love to hike. If we go on a hiking holiday, it’s unlikely that I’ll lift. If I’m travelling across the world to visit a new country and explore new landscapes, I personally don’t want to spend my time in the gym, nor do I want my tired-from-squats legs to hold me back from scaling a mountain. When I travel, I rarely train. I’ve consciously made that decision.
I can make these informed judgements because I understand what trade offs are required for me to pursue particular fitness goals. I don’t set goals that require me to give up things that I don’t want to give up, but I do make sacrifices in order to achieve the goals that are meaningful to me.
To lose fat (a very common goal), you need to either increase your energy output via exercise or decrease your energy input via your diet. To do either of these things, you need to do more of something and less of something else. EG,
You might need to get up at 6am to train before work, giving up an extra hour of sleep
You might need to turn down some food at family events
You might need to say no to a Sunday sesh so you’re able to meal prep for the week ahead
You might need to skip dessert with your family
You might need to go out sober some times
You might need to turn down some outings to get your training in
You might need to get up early to make breakfast and pack lunch
You might need to skip office drinks
You might need to pack meals when you go away
You may need to eat food that is different from those around you
I could go on with examples, but the indisputable point is
If you’re not willing to make some trade offs, you will not achieve your goal.
You are not a bad person if you are not willing to make these sacrifices and you do not have to give up these things. No one is forcing you. But it does need to be understood that you cannot achieve your fitness goals without making some trade offs or sacrifices. You cannot have your proverbial cake and eat it too.
The problem many people face, is that they are:
a) Not aware of the trade offs required to achieve their goals and/or
b) Are not willing to make the trade offs required to achieve their goals.
And social media does a fantastic job of worsening this situation.
How many total babes do you follow on IG who have both a banging physique and can seemingly eat and drink whatever they want? You see these pages and think “yeah, I want to lose weight but I also want a wonderfully balanced life and social life.” Certainly something to strive for, there is no doubt about that. But wanting this from day one can really hinder progress.
In aiming to maintain your balanced lifestyle whilst pursuing fat loss, you subconsciously decide that your lifestyle, social life, enjoyment of food and connections with others are non-negotiable. You’re not willing to sacrifice them to create the calorie deficit required to produce weight loss.
In many cases, this decision is made subconsciously. And because of that, so many people get frustrated that they can’t have it all when seemingly everyone else does. Oftentimes these same people have made trade offs and they have made sacrifices, but frustratingly, just not enough.
With the exception of those genetically blessed people that burn up anything and everything they eat or drink, those people you follow on IG with the banging physiques? They’re doing or have done one or more of a few things right:
If they have lost weight previously to achieve their current physique, they would have undergone a stricter calorie deficit at that time to reach their current body weight, before then returning to a higher calorie intake and/or less exercise. They would have forgone some things previously that they are now able to enjoy.
Even when they’re indulging, they have managed the rest of their diet such that the indulgences are offset by restraint/restriction elsewhere that maintains their energy balance (their calorie intake and calorie output are balanced). This can be achieved by even more aggressive restriction throughout the rest of their week, away from their indulgences. (Note, some people can manage this well, physically and/or psychologically; while others cannot).
They’re eating and drinking in a surplus right now and are happy with and/or are deliberately pursuing weight gain (whether or not you know it!)
So all this being said, before setting a goal, it is damn important to identify the trade offs required.
You can ask yourself:
What specifically is your goal?
What is required to achieve it?
What do you need to give up?
Are you willing to do that?
Is it worth it?
If you are willing to give up what is required, fantastic. Carry on.
If you are not willing to give up something or the requirements are more than you are willing to give, that is absolutely fine (and entirely your prerogative!) but the goal isn’t for you. Reassess and set a goal instead that both accommodates and compliments your lifestyle. Perhaps this means you can lose some weight, but not as much as you initially hoped. Or as much weight, but slower. Or you don’t get as strong. Or you do, but slower. Your results will compromise with you. They’ll give you more if you do; they’ll give you less if you do. It’s all a bit of give and take.
But if you are not willing to make certain sacrifices, please don’t bang your head against the wall in frustration, wondering why it is so damn hard for you.
And if we can flip the perspective entirely: if you are choosing a beautiful family, or a thriving social life, or a tonne of travel, or regular camping trips, or a double degree or a successful career, what a great choice! That sounds way better than dieting in my opinion too! Own your decisions and enjoy the fruits of your conscious choices. Strict dieting and gruelling training sessions ain’t for everyone, all of the time. I’ll own my never having a six pack, and you can own the outcomes of your own life choices too.
Billie x